Days Without a Cigarette: 7.56041667
Days Without Nicotine: 0
Dollars Saved: $5.61
There’s some part of me that’s pissed off that the nonsmokers are gonna win.
I know this is stupid, but it’s also human nature – I spent thirty years of my life on “team smoker”, looking to my teammates and saying “can you believe these assholes on team nonsmoker?” And now I have to concede defeat and admit that theirs was the better team the whole time.
What’s more, I have to admit that their tactics were effective… eventually. And I really want to tell you otherwise. I really want to tell you that all the assholery was a waste of time, but it wasn’t. Every holier-than-thou rant from some nonsmoker about how stupid and disgusting my habit was sank in. Every one of them stuck. And in the moment, sure, I was smoking two cigarettes at a time in spite. But later on, when my brain revisited the moment in hopes of back filling a good argument into my mouth during the exchange, it would discover it couldn’t. At best I’d note some hypocrisy and hide behind a feeble tu quoque when I thought of something somewhat unhealthy that they also did, but ultimately I’d have to admit that my side didn’t have any good arguments.
Now, to be clear, I’m not recommending being an asshole to smokers, and I have no intention of turning into one of those people. Those people did help nudge me along towards making this decision, but I still fucking hate them. Whether or not your assholery is effective, you’re still an asshole.
Of course, I’ve gotta admit to a little bias in this assessment. After all, I was team smoker for three decades, but I’ve been team asshole for even longer.